Permanent Marriage in a Disposable Culture

(Marriage Series Post 1)

A World of Waste

In 2024, global waste production reached a staggering 2.2 billion tonnes annually—that’s 4.85 trillion pounds of trash discarded in a single year! To put that into perspective, that is the equivalent of every household in the United States throwing away the equivalent weight of a small car annually. We increasingly live in a throwaway world.

Single-use plastics pile up in landfills. Damaged clothes get tossed instead of patched. Broken appliances are cheaper to replace than repair. Even cars, once passed down from generation to generation, are now traded in at the first sign of trouble.

But the “disposable mindset” doesn’t just apply to our possessions. It has crept into our relationships. Increasingly, careers, friendships, and even marriages are treated as short-term arrangements—good only as long as they’re convenient. When difficulties come, when the shine wears off, when expectations go unmet, the instinct is not to repair but to replace.

And sadly, marriage has become one of the most disposable institutions in our culture.

The Disposable Marriage Mindset

In Western culture, marriage is often less understood as a covenant and more as a contract.

A contract, by definition, is an agreement between two parties that lasts only as long as both keep their end of the bargain. Break the terms, and the contract can be dissolved.

For many couples, that’s exactly how marriage is viewed:

• As long as love feels good, I’ll stay.

• As long as my needs are met, I’ll stay.

• As long as the spark is alive, I’ll stay.

  
  

But if conflict arises, if intimacy fades, if life grows heavy, the contract can be canceled. Divorce becomes not a tragic last resort, but simply another consumer choice, like upgrading your phone or trading in your car.

This view might seem pragmatic, but in practice it leaves marriages fragile, unstable, and insecure. If your spouse believes marriage is a contract, then the relationship is always under negotiation. The fear becomes: What if I fail? What if I can’t perform? What if they walk away?

When marriage is treated as disposable, love becomes performance-based, circumstances define commitment, and trust slowly unravels.

A Biblical Contrast: Permanent Marriage

Into this disposable culture, the Bible speaks a radically different word: marriage is not a contract of convenience, but a covenant of commitment.

Genesis 2:24 declares, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Jesus echoed this in Matthew 19:6: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

The biblical vision of marriage is not one of performance-based terms, but of God-ordained permanence. The word covenant is key here. Unlike a contract, a covenant is a sacred, binding promise. It is not dependent on moods, feelings, or convenience. It is deeply rooted in faithfulness—faithfulness to one another and faithfulness before God.

In fact, marriage is repeatedly called a covenant in Scripture:

• “The Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” (Malachi 2:14)

• “I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy.” (Hosea 2:19–20)

  
  

Marriage, then, is not a human invention subject to cultural whims. It embodies a divine design meant to reflect the very covenantal love of God Himself.

Velcro vs. Gorilla Glue: Two Views of Marriage

To illustrate the difference, imagine two household items: Velcro and Gorilla Glue.

Velcro is convenient, easy to use, and designed to hold things together temporarily. But under stress, or after repeated pulls, Velcro loses its grip. It was never meant for permanence.

That’s the picture of contract marriage—easily attached, easily separated. It works until it doesn’t, and when tension rises, it eventually comes apart.

Gorilla Glue, on the other hand, bonds with extraordinary strength. Once two surfaces are joined, separating them without damage is nearly impossible. That’s the picture of covenant marriage: bonded for life, holding under pressure, designed to endure.

God’s vision for marriage is not Velcro vows, but Gorilla Glue “I do’s.”

Why Disposable Marriages Fail

When couples embrace a disposable mindset, marriages suffer in several predictable ways:

1. Fragile Security. If love is performance-based, then every failure threatens the relationship. Instead of safety, couples live in fear of rejection.

2. Shallow Intimacy. True intimacy requires vulnerability, but who risks being fully known when rejection is always an option?

3. Conditional Faithfulness. Instead of a lifelong vow, commitment is conditional—I’ll stay as long as it benefits me.

4. Cultural Conformity. Couples begin to mirror the culture’s “cancel-anything” mindset instead of reflecting Christ’s covenant faithfulness.

   
   

This is why the disposable view of marriage has led to soaring divorce rates, fragile or broken families, and generations who no longer believe lifelong love is even possible.

Covenant Marriage: A Different Way

So, what makes covenant marriage different?

1. Safety. In covenant, spouses know they will not be abandoned (Hebrews 13:5). This provides the security to be vulnerable, honest, and real.

2. Security. Covenant creates stability in uncertain times (Proverbs 31:11). Marriages endure storms because both partners are committed to staying.

3. Fulfillment. Long-term faithfulness produces joy and contentment (Ecclesiastes 4:9–12). Fulfillment is not found in chasing “new,” but in deepening what is eternal.

4. Formation. God uses marriage as a refining tool (James 1:2–4). In covenant, your character is shaped and sanctified.

5. Holiness. Marriage is not primarily about happiness, but holiness (Ephesians 5:25–27). Through covenant, God forms couples into the likeness of Christ.

   
   

Repair vs. Replace: A Call to Rediscover Faithfulness

In a world that throws away what is broken, covenant marriage dares to repair. It insists that what God has joined together is worth redeeming, worth restoring, worth fighting for.

That doesn’t mean marriages will never break. Infidelity, abuse, betrayal, and neglect tragically fracture many relationships. Scripture acknowledges the pain of broken covenants and even allows for divorce in certain circumstances (Matthew 19:9). But even then, God’s heart is for healing and restoration—for individuals and for families.

The good news of the gospel is this: even when we are faithless, God remains faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). His covenant love fuels our own. Just as He keeps His promises to us, we are called to keep our promises to one another.

Practical Applications for Today

How can couples resist the disposable mindset and embrace covenant faithfulness?

1. Reframe your vows. Stop thinking of marriage as “as long as I feel in love.” Instead, ground your vows in God’s covenant love.

2. Repair quickly. Don’t let cracks widen. Address conflict with humility, forgiveness, and grace.

3. Invest daily. Love is strengthened not by grand gestures but by small, faithful acts—listening, praying together, serving each other.

4. Surround yourself with covenant community. Couples thrive in churches and friendships that model and encourage faithfulness.

5. Remember the Gorilla Glue "I Do". Don’t treat your marriage like Velcro. Treat it as a permanent, God-designed bond.

   
   

Keeping “I Do” for Good

We live in a world that cancels, replaces, and disposes of almost everything. But covenant marriage calls us to a higher standard. It reminds us that love is not disposable. It is sacred. It is binding. It is a reflection of the God who holds us fast.

Marriage is not about perfection. It is about persistent faithfulness. It’s not about convenience. It's about covenant. And in a culture of temporary commitments, there is nothing more countercultural, nothing more beautiful, than keeping your “I do” every day, for good.

Stay tuned for Marriage Series Post 2 (Velcro Vows) of this multi-part series on God's design for Christian marriage!